It’s been a year…

Today, a year ago, I had gastric bypass surgery. At that point, only select people in my life knew what was happening. Now…I’m putting it all out there…

I started the journey at 287 pounds. By the time I got to surgery, I was 265. Today, I’m at 171. When asked, I always start at I’m down 116 pounds. I count the WHOLE journey…

My cholesterol has gone from 185 to 129. My BMI went from “morbidly obese” at 42.4 to borderline overweight at 25.4. I still have 6 pounds to reach the “goal” set by the surgical program, but the surgeon was pleased yesterday.

I’m glad I did it. I took control of something for me. I feel good. We have some minor tweaking to do to fix up some blood counts – but the surgeon was pleased and I don’t have to see him again for a year.

Enjoy the (short) photo journey. I need to go back and add some others to the weight loss album…it’s hard to know which one is really me. Sometimes my mind reverts to the “old” me…

Thanks for joining me on this journey!

Looking back

I am approaching the ONE year mark. I’ve been doing the countdown all over again without really thinking about it.

One year ago…

I started my liver-shrinking diet on the 22nd of October last year. It was a lot of shakes, a whole lotta water, no caffeine and just a little actual food. The drop in carbs made me feel like crap (“carb flu” is an accurate description). I stuck to it – I added chips every now and then to get some salt…I was craving it. It came right on the heels of a business trip – where we indulged in some wonderful meals in San Diego.

This time a year ago, I was working to keep busy so I didn’t notice I wasn’t eating. And I was starting to get nervous. Before it was over, I’d have a full-blown panic attack in the shower the morning of surgery – only to see my youngest had drawn Luigi in the soap scum…and I felt better.

My one year visit with the surgeon is a week from tomorrow. I’m excited to see what he has to say.

Thanks for joining me!


Seeing people again

October – specifically mid October – is a hot mess express in my world.

We’re still adjusting to my husband working after being stay-at-home Dad and Coach for 7 years. Our youngest had a hockey tournament in Houston for Columbus Day weekend. We got home Monday and I left Tuesday for a business trip to Phoenix.

The hockey tournament was the first time to encounter people I haven’t seen since before surgery. I recognized a good number of them…I’m usually pretty good at faces…it’s names that kill me. I don’t “people” very well…so I’m not likely to walk up to people and start a conversation. One of the moms introduced herself to me. I reminded her our kids played in a tournament last year. She was still perplexed…so I said I was 110 pounds heavier… Then it clicked for her.

Now at the conference…I’m seeing people I’ve been seeing at events for 7 years. Ones I’ve seen more recently or during the transformation recognized me. Some could see there was a difference but still knew who I am. Others asked if we’d met.

I know 110 lbs is a lot. I know there is a big difference. I see it more in my neck than my face so I don’t see a big difference.

I’ve discovered there is no graceful way to address this either. Not saying anything leads to more questions. I was asked by someone I’ve met several times “have we met”. I was super graceful which came off snarky with “yep…several times”. Then I super gracefully trying to be reassuring said “I’ve lost 110 pounds since last time”. None of that was comfortable…and I’m sure part of it has to do with trying to wrap my own brain around the change…

This whole process really messes with my mind…

Thanks for joining me on the journey!


Being real

What do you see? (Besides the bathroom that needs picked up…)

I’m going to be real…I see the belly that while I’ve lost 110 (!) pounds is still obvious to me in person and in pictures. I see the hips that still look wide…and to a degree…not a lot of difference from my minds memory of my old body to now.

It takes a LOT of self talk and working through this…a LOTTA LOT! It takes going back to pictures to SEE the difference.

I haven’t done pictures in front of the office door in a while…progress pictures help with the mind game that is this weight loss process. Even buying size 12 or 14 pants and large or medium shirts doesn’t really register…

I’m proud of where I am when I get all of my mind joining me in the present reality.

Thanks for joining me on this journey!


Catching up

I’m not sure how this will flow just now…will it be one big post or several. I have been struggling to come up with content so I kind of hope it’s multiple…

In no particular order…I had to go to the PX today to pick up meds. The last time I allowed myself to wander in the clothes, I was still too big for most of the designers they have: Michael Kors, Calvin Klein, Lucky Brand.

Today, I took time to wander. To my surprise there was a lot of clearance items.

It’s still nearly 100 degrees here and I don’t really NEED anything…but I was curious. I browsed and found a Michael Kors sun dress (L), Karl Lagerfeld jeans (12 &14) Michael Kors jeans (12) and Lucky brand jeans (14).

When I first heard of Lucky Brand, I was already too big. So…I was very interested in trying them on. The 14s fit!!! I didn’t get them…I just got the ones at Old Navy a month ago…and it’s still too hot here for those-they weren’t on sale (although PX price is pretty good compared to retail!!)

I couldn’t get in the Karl Lagerfeld 12 or the MK dress – it was a smidge snug. But everything else slipped right on…it was a great feeling!!

I’m about ready for fall so I can go find some jeans and warmer weather stuff!

Thanks for joining me!


Time always gets away from me…

I knew it had been a while. I was pleasantly surprised when I looked back that it had just been a little over a month…that’s not great…but I really thought it had been longer. So that’s something…

Let’s see. Shortly after the last post, I had the pleasure of taking my boys to Disney World. My husband stayed back to take care of his mom and the dogs. The boys and I had a great time and that was the first time really since I’d lost a lot of weight. The plane ride was comfortable…plenty of room in the seat. It was hot but it didn’t break me (and we made sure to rest plenty at the pool or in the room during rain showers).

It was a great trip for so many reasons!

Thanks for joining me!


I surprised myself

I had an email from Old Navy letting me know their jeans were half off yesterday. Most of my shorts (and some tanks and dresses) this summer were from Old Navy…and before that it had been YEARS since I bought anything at Old Navy…not even the yearly patriotic T-shirt’s. They didn’t fit…I even avoided shopping there for the boys to save myself the disappointment.

Yesterday…because my shorts were from Old Navy…I went to try some on. Because…it will eventually cool off and I should be ready…

The 14s were LOOSE…12 Talls were a little snug…and they were skinny jeans. I haven’t done skinny…ever…

I’ll take that progress over the stupid slow moving scale any day…(20 lbs from the nutritionist’s goal weight…it had to slow down sometime…)

Thanks for joining me!